broken soul

It all starts with a ‘Why’. ‘Why did I love him so much? Why can’t I think of no one but him? Why did he ditch me?......” and the train of thoughts halts where the tears of your eyes have melted into sleep.

Then you get up at some odd hour, realizing your eyelids are heavy. The salt of tears has accumulated over the eyelashes and all. Soon you realize, ‘Why it had to happen?’ and the trail of those thoughts continues.

Then to check the time you grab your cell. And when you hold your cell, you have his snap as the screensaver. You are lost again. Then you browse the inbox. Each and every message belongs to the same sender, him. You start reading them. ‘I love you till Eternity…..’, ‘I wonder what my life would be without you….. I just love you so much’ ….. And there your eyes start pouring again. You wonder, how can someone change so drastically in fractions? How come someone lie so beautifully. Why the hell people play with feelings…. And lots of Why’s follow thereafter…..

Then you realize, life is becoming hell. You just are so very tied up with his thoughts that can’t do anything, just anything. You really need to get out of it, but the more you try, the more you find yourself falling in it. Its hard. Its painful. Its very tearful.

You just don’t feel like talking to anyone, almost no one. You start having fights with your friends. You stop moving out of the house with mascara and nail-paints. You really don’t give a d**n to yourself.

You keep looking into your cell, may be, he will send ya a message.but he doesn’t. You feel like calling him up so hard, but somehow you are pulled back from doing so. You just keep lying, thinking of him. Then you get up, check for his pictures in your laptop. You remember every single moment spent together.